Sitting on the veranda early tonight, I thought a bit
|This is not the veranda|
I was sitting tonight outside the house, on the veranda specifically. I discovered now that there's a difference between the two words "balcony" and "veranda" while trying to look for the correct word to use here. The balcony is not attached to the ground floor, and thus ours is a veranda as it is near the ground floor; there are just a few stairs from the ground that get you to it.
I took advantage of the few moments during which I would be able to sit here quietly, with no one saying the same words, without me speaking the same things over and over again: The prices are rising! The battery is dying (the battery of the solar panel, you know, at this point people got electricity figured out without fuel and we find something else to complain about)! The world is collapsing! When are you graduating?! I was normally looking at the trees infront of me, being swayed slightly by the wind. It's not cold nor hot, with gentle refreshing breezes; my favourite weather. The sky is clear from clouds, and still not fully dark. It's kind of navy blue: a new word I discovered now too. The moon is luminous and beautiful. I don't get to see it much whilst I'm sitting in my dorm/studio; neither the sky. That's one reason why I like coming back home (I just wish I had more time to sit quietly at this time, or at any time to be clear). People here are sort of forgetting the blessings they have (myself included before I got to be separated from them).
Okay, now to get to the main point that led me to start writing this. I'm kind of trying to start preparing myself to lose these privileges, at some indefinite time. I'm not being negative, totally not. I'm just trying to be realistic; I need to do that before it takes me by surprise. Time is flying. Life is fleeting. Every day we get to see the sun disappearing, and do we have the slightest control over that?? It's something worth paying attention to: at one moment the sky is blue, the sun is shining, and the light is there. Then it starts gradually turning black. We, humans, haven't the slightest control over that. We are much smaller and much weaker than we think we are, and we tend to care and fill our time with worthless and useless and even harmful stuff and nonsense, often without realizing it, and for matters to be worse, while thinking that we are actually doing something good. It sometimes comes to my mind, the question that, what if I was someone else? Why I am who I am? What does it feel like to be the person in front of me? Well, I have no idea, and probably never will, it's outside my scope, by nature. One thing to say here is: realize your createdness, observe it, recognize your fragility, and well, embrace it.
The thought/reason that made me think now about losing this privilege to sit here and smell the fresh air, and be able the next moment to enter my kitchen and get something to eat or drink, was basically that it wasn't me who built this house, it isn't me who planted those trees, or who takes care of them. It isn't me who tend to those flowers. It isn't even me who got this swing/chair I'm sitting on. If one starts here, from the chair he's sitting on, shouldn't he think about himself, his eyes, his sight, his ears, his hearing, his hands, his legs, and every inch of this world?
My sister had a baby two days ago, a brand new human being. Isn't that something?! You see dear reader, the world is full of "somethings". Right in front of our eyes, those eyes that I wasn't looking at when they came to be. You see dear reader, we just have to stop and see. Now I'm stopping indeed, the front lights of a car are just looking at me, and I will probably repeat the same conversations during the rest of the evening.